Changed ending of Reckoning
by Cherie93
Summary: Dru finally makes her choice. It says complete but MAYBE there will be continuation. I'm not a writer. I just felt like I had to free this scene from my mind, so I did so here. I like Graves, but I'm Christophie lover :). Enjoy.


Ok, I felt like the books did not end the way I was hoping and I just couldn't stop the perfect scene forming in my head.

Please be forgiving - English is not my main language - I was learning it in school - now in college - but its far from perfect. Feel free to show me my mistakes.

I know I could write it in my home language but... I read last two tomes of Strange Angels in original - they were translated to Polish very late and I just couldn't wait. And the story was made in my head in English - probably because of that. Also - I feel it's the right time to start using what I learned.

OFC - I do not own characters - they are created by the Strange Angels author - Lily St. Crow.

* * *

I fell asleep by Christophie's bed. When I woke up I felt his eyes on me_. Pretending to be still asleep wont work _I assumed _He always seems to know if Im lying or pretending._ I rised my head trying to hide red eyes from him. I didn't want him to know I cried myself to sleep. But in the moment our eyes met, I was sure – he knew. He always did. I still don't know how he does it – my embarrassment vanishes so quickly with him. This look, as if telling me _Don't be ashamed of your feelings Dru_. It always got to me.

- Ekm… - My hoarse voice was failing me. – How are you feeling?

He kept looking at me. Studying me. I don't know what he was searching for, but I was sure he found it. He only nods his head. I don't know what to say. _You know what you should talk about. _Voice in my head said. But I didn't know if I could handle it right now. I didn't know if he could. I was afraid. _Remember – fear is only your imagination. Close your eyes and jump._

So I did.

- Christophie, I ... I wanted to talk to you. – I started to stutter. – I don't know if that's the right moment, but…

He eyed me up and down. Wondering. And then he catched up with my mind. His face went blank.

- It can wait. You don't have to do it right now. I'll wait for your answer, kochana.

_Kochana. _Always when he named me with those unknown to me words I felt the heat wash over my body. And well… he said it can wait, right? _No, it can't. And you know it. _This irritating voice again. But I knew it was true.

- No, it can't – I repeated after voice. – Let me do this now, when I found enough bravery to bring this up, Chris. Please.

He just waited. His blue eyes on me. Telling me to go on. I think he braced himself for what was going to come. I took deep breath and started to throw out words from my mouth. My heart and my feelings. Trying to do it as fast as possible.

- You know, I wanted Graves to be my boyfriend. I was almost forcing him to be. With him I feel normal again. Like before it all happened. Before my dad died. Leaving him is like admitting he's dead. Agreeing to how my life was turned upside down. Graves is also my best friend. The one person that got me. That didn't turn me down like any other human beeing would do in his situation. I still wonder why. He's the first person I decided to trust – first besides my family. I feel attached to him, I feel I owe him. And I have all reasons to trust him. But… - From frown on his face I decided it's time to stop talking about Graves. I knew Christophie tried to look as neutral as possible. To not show his hurt, to not hurt me. – But this is it. I realized I'm desperately trying to stick to him, because he's everything I had for such a long time. I want to want him. But I can't. I also cannot let him go.

I stood up. Walking from side to side of his bed. Trying to collect all my thoughts. Chris looked confused. Not that I blame him.

- And there is you. It's totally creepy that you had feelings towards my mom. I know - I added quickly, seeing as he opened his mouth to protest. – I know there were not the same feelings you have for me, Chris. It's just weird. I hate that you never tell me what's going on, treating me like a little girl. I hate even more that you keep making decisions for me. But even knowing all these things, you still make me feel a woman. More than anyone else. And I trust you. I trusted you from the first day, even when I tried so hard not to. I shouldn't, but I did. Even when I thought you gave Graves to Siergiej. Even then, deep down, I knew you wouldn't do this. And then I saw you, tied and hurt. It was heartbreaking. – Pause again. - You never left me. I could always count on you and be sure of your feelings. But I don't know if…

I stopped. There was a big race in my mind. I didn't know how to put my thoughts in words.

- I… you… If you could only… - I stuttered again, totally lost.

It was a second and he was up, face to face with me, his eyes closed with mine.

- What? – he said in a low voice, that made me shudder. – What can I do Dru? Anything. I'll do anything.

He made step closer towards me. Our bodies were almost touching. I longed to grab him and rest my head on his chest, but I stopped myself. I could also hear his blood. His breath. I could smell him, apple pie. _My_ apple pie.

- Tell me, moj maly ptaszku – he whispered, almost touching my face with his nose.

- I...I-I… Christophie… L-let me concentrate – I was squealing like a little girl, fighting with my brain and kicking myself mentally. He stopped breathing, but did not move a cal. – If you could only treat me as equal, trust me as I trust you…

He was thinking. Deep in thoughts. Still not breathing. I wondered if kuroi even had to breathe like others. I knew what was going through his mind. I knew he did those things to keep me safe.

- First off, I trust you Dru – He said looking at me intensly while saying it, as if wanting to make me believe. – And to me, you are equal. But I need to protect you, I can't…

- Then protect me – I entered his words. – Protect me, but don't keep me locked. Don't hide things from me. I won't fall apart, I won't break mentally. I have you. And I believe you can keep me safe.

Silence. And then I heard and felt his deep breath.

- Ok – He said, almost casually. Suprise must have shown on my face, because I saw his eyes sparkle. – I will try, Dru. For you, everything, milna. Anything else?

I thought for a moment.

- Don't call me milady – He nods. So Im trying to push my luck. – And resign from my guard.

I got an amused glare. I knew it wouldn't pass.

- You know it will never happen, moja ksiezniczko. But I sensed you will bring it up. Always a fighter.

I moved to him, closing my arms around his neck, pressing my body into his, as if afraid he'll disappear.

- There is one more thing, Chris – I whispered.

He rested his hands at my back, showing me with his eyes to go on.

- I want you to love me.

And then he kissed me, taking my breath away. This was the first kiss, when I didn't feel guilty and didn't think about Graves. I made my decision. And I did not regret it. He was the one to pull away and rest his head against mine.

- Always – he said, his voice deep, making me tremble.

And then he smiled. Just like that. It was a small smile, but I could see so many emotions. Happiness. astonishment and love. I wanted to giggle at him. I always assumed he was so sure of himself, and here I saw it. He wasn't. He was almost not believing I chose him.

And here comes the time. I knew it's my turn to finally say it. I felt a little uncomfortable. Always shy in situations like this. Not like I was in those many times.

- I love you, Christophie – My voice suddenly sounded more adult. I was happy my voice didn't break.

I felt him smile again against my skin. And then I said words totally not matching this situation, knowing it'll make him go. But I had my responsibilities. And he had his. We had our time. But we needed to go back.

- The Order is waiting. They want to see you.

I didn't feel like I ruined this moment. I knew I didn't. Christophie understood. He brushed my hair with his lips, and disappeared with this sound, I didn't like. But I heard him say:

- I'll be back before you know, moj maly ptaszku. Wait for me.

* * *

Its probably just one-time story. BUT - I have an idea for some other short ones or continuation of this - but it depends if anyone would want to read it. If not I'll create it in my head - for me only :).

I hope at least 1 person enjoyed and that it wasn't grammar-horrible :).


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